21st century dating—it seems that there’s a lot of contradictory rules for modern day relationships, or maybe even no rules at all anymore. There are texting rules about what to say at what times, ways to read into “what his Facebook says about him,” and the ability to get to know someone without really having to see them all that often. When you take a look at millennial dating culture today, does it actually seem all that great?
This generation is one that is focused on easy and constant communication and causal dating. The ever-changing world of technology and dating culture isn’t a bad thing—I can’t pretend that I don’t love my iPhone too guys—but every so often I think that the modern world has forgotten about some of the original dating trends that really did work.
Maybe it’s time to jump back to the past and pick up some classic dating ideas that make relationships a little bit less nerve-wracking, more fun, and most importantly more meaningful. Imagine even just 50 years ago how different the whole dating scene looked—no cell phones and a whole different culture of pursing someone. Even in modern relationships, there’s still the chance to keep the romance going with old fashioned dating trends—and you don’t need your smart phone to do it:
There’s something utterly precious about this old-school dating habit. It’s one of my personal favorites. In an age of electronic communication and quick texts, there’s a romantic sentiment to having a tangible expression of love from your significant other. A letter is something that took thought and attention to create, and it makes you feel special to know that your significant other put in the effort to write down how they feel about you. Not to mention, it’s always exciting to get surprises in your mail box when you’ve spent the afternoon staring at your cell phone.
Sometimes in the modern world it can be a little too easy to communicate with our friends, family, and partners. Everyone is always a quick send button away, and as a generation that is wired to our phones it’s like we are never out of reach. Don’t get me wrong—this can be a great thing—but it takes a lot of the work out of showing someone how you feel. That’s why in the age of 21st century dating, a handwritten letter that you can hold and reread means so much more.
The world of dating today can quickly be summed up in one word—casual. When did it become the cool thing to do to appear as the less interested party when it comes to dating? If you like someone, show them that you’re interested. Before the age of the internet, if you were interested in someone you really had to go out of your way to make it known, instead of just shooting them a “hey” text to get their attention. Calling to ask them out, planning a date, and fun surprises were all things that people really did find sweet and have lost their appeal in comparison to quick cell texts or Facebook messages. With communication at our fingertips—literally—it’s easy to sit and wait on someone to send you something first, and sometimes that doesn’t get either of you anywhere. Expressing your interest in someone doesn’t only have to be over the phone either, it could be in any way, shape, or form. The point is, it’s become pretty easy to casually message someone without any “oomph” behind it, and this takes away from the feeling that two people are actually pursuing each other because they are interested in dating.
What’s the best way to build a relationship? Dates. This isn’t even an innovative trend, it’s just the way that you get to know someone that you like. Here’s the thing about being in constant contact today—you can spend all day or week texting someone without every actually hanging out with them in person, and this gives you the sense that you know them well because you talk a lot. Casual dating culture gives the impression that we can spend less time together because we can chat more at a distance, and you could basically start “dating” someone without ever really going on a date. It’s time to set aside some space for actual quality time with your significant other or love interest that doesn’t occur through your phone screen. The real foundations of a relationship will be built through your interactions when you’re together, not through your text messages.
It’s easy for us as individuals to get caught up in the easy modern ways that we communicate and the casual nature of just “hanging out”. But perhaps this doesn’t make for the best dating trends, and we should take some tips from old school relationship practices that really make for a picture perfect romance.
Photo by Pimthida