Relationships are not what they once were. That doesn’t necessarily mean that romance is dead, it has just taken on a different form. If we’re really honest with ourselves, that form doesn’t always seem to have the best results for everyone. Maybe it could be that in this modern world, relationships are moving faster than the time it takes to catch them. From online dating apps to reality shows that focus on finding love, there is a good chance that we need new rules on how to navigate it.
“Marriage was an economic institution in which you were given a partnership for life in terms of children and social status and succession and companionship. But now we want our partner to still give us all these things, but in addition I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot, and we live twice as long,” Aziz Ansari said in his best selling book Modern Romance. “So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide: Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence and mystery and awe all in one. Give me comfort, give me edge. Give me novelty, give me familiarity. Give me predictability, give me surprise. And we think it’s a given, and toys and lingerie are going to save us with that. Ideally, though, we’re lucky, and we find our soul mate and enjoy that life-changing mother lode of happiness. But a soul mate is a very hard thing to find,” Ansari said. Ain’t that the truth!
Then we look at the serialized — and slightly over romanticized — versions of love present in all of Nicholas Sparks movies, and it’s not surprising that many millenials are taking a different approach to relationships. Again, that’s not to say that it’s impossible to settle down, but it is just a far different landscape than it was even just a couple of years ago. If you’re scared of the future, you definitely should not be. There is so much potential to find your soul mate out there, you just have to know where to look.
Well, trust us, you’re not alone! In fact, a recent study proves that basically no one has any idea what they’re doing. Okay, that’s not actually what the results said, but that’s pretty close!
A new study from Avvo, a legal services marketplace, has been released, and it explains how attitudes are changing about relationships and modern love in America. Dr, Pepper Schwartz – renowned relationship expert best known as the co-host of Married At First Sight, as well as the author of 25 books on relationships broke it down exclusively for Quirky Daily. Check it out!
On the results of the Avvo study…
Well to me, the most interesting an unexpected finding is that marriage is no longer held as the only way you can be in relationship. People are somewhat detached. 42 percent say that they don’t think marriage is necessary. The majority is still involved, but that’s a big change if you think of in terms of 50 years ago when married people would feel sorry for you. That’s not what’s happening. The gender roles are changing, and women are much more independent and less likely to be in a marriage just because. They are not staying in for tradition, they are only going to stay in it if it makes them happy.
On how her show has added to the conversation about marriage taking place…
Married at First sight now have three million people watching it, and 35,000 people who are applying to be married at first sight. Meaning, they literally get married at the alter and meet someone they know nothing about, and then go on and try to create a relationship and a lasting marriage. The amazing thing is that many of them do. In fact, if people are put together for the right reasons and right support, they try harder than if they were dating.
Crazy! This generation is flipping the script when it comes to all different aspects of adult life. Growing up is hard, but we refuse to except the norm and our continually breaking barriers in life, love, and everything in between! For the full conversation check out the video above, and go to avvo.com for more information!
Featured Image: Lena Vasiljeva