35 Things I Think About While Going Down On A Man

35 Things I think about while going down on a man
Lets first take a look at the name blow job. No one wants to think of it has a job, like they are working. Why can’t we call it “blow recess”, “blow happy hour” or “blow brunch”? Who doesn’t love going to brunch?It’s not that I don’t like going down on a man, it’s sexy to turn someone on. It’s just that it’s very tedious and my mind tends to wander.
Here are the 35 things that definitely go through my head while going down on a man…

1. I got this!!

2. Breathe through your nose you idiot.

3. I hope my throat wont hurt tomorrow.

4. Should I try butt stuff? Maybe he’ll like it. NO Kristin, don’t do it!

5.I will never understand this hand thing!

6. Touch my head one more time I’m going to fucking kill you.

7.Should I look up?


9. Just maybe try butt stuff?

10. Make some noise Kristin!

11. Well, that was weird.

12. Be careful of teeth!

13. Do you think he felt that?!

14. Just because you CAN deep throat doesn’t mean that…


16. OK, here it goes. I’m going to try butt…


18. OK, you can try to finger his butt, but you can’t ask him to go on a date with you? What’s wrong with you?!

19.Oh God why is this still happening?

20.Aw, I can’t believe Fluffy died.

21. I wonder who was the first person to ever do this??

22. “ Total eclipse of the heart…turn around every now and then I get a little bit..”

23. Oh, right, my hand.

24.He’s making noises so its gotta be good.

25. Ok, I’m over this !

26. He better go down on me this long!

27. I wish I had a dick.

28. When can a woman stop giving blow jobs?!

29. “Turn around, bright eyes”!

30. I guess he likes me.

31. Oh, you’re going to cum?

32.YESSS!! Bring it on!!!

33. OH GOD.

34. Just smile.

35. Well, now that that’s over. MY TURN!!!

Feature image: Astrid Theis, Flickr.

Kristin Manna
>>>> >> Kristin is one of six kids. Her dad likes to get married. She drinks orange juice with everything. She is a horrible speller. Chocolate and peanut butter ice cream is her kryptonite. Kristin is a Stand-up comic who has performed in various clubs in NYC. Kristin has been featured in the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and Boston Comedy Festival. She is also a terrible dancer.